Shacking Up: The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned Review

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Shacking Up: The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned ReviewMy girlfriend and I decided to move in together a little while back and she asked me to read this book which she had recently purchased in anticipation of our decision. She said it would be a great conversation starter and a way for us to talk about things that we hadn't discussed before. I said "sure", and read it, and thought it was well worth my time.
It is written by women, and for a woman's point of view, but I thought it applied equally as well to guys.
From my point of view, the advice in the book was very good. I especially liked how real life examples were brought into play every time the author wanted to illustrate a specific point -sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse.
I like how the author talked about the financial commitments of a move-in (which can be as important as the emotional commitment). Couples often have a hard time talking about money, like it sort of debases the relationship, or is a taboo subject. But I believe that if you love someone, you should want to protect them, and you would want to make sure that if anything ever happened to you (or your relationship) that you'd both want to emerge whole to start again. No you can't plan for disaster, but you can plan for what the author calls "a bonk on the head which changes your personality forever which then leads to a parting of ways". It makes sense.
Does anyone ever intend to leave a relationship if they make the decision to cohabitate? I doubt it -but that's exactly the point. The book speaks about all the things you need to consider about timing, about commitment, and the views of your relatives. I would hope that no one ever broke up because they took a couple of months longer to rent a place together while they were sorting these issues out. Take a deep breath, read this book, and compare your experiences to those inside. If when you read it you feel closer to your partner, then great! But if you get a scrunchy feeling in your belly, then stop, take a step back, and wait a few more months while you talk through some of these issues.
And finally, I wanted to share some of the notes that I jotted down while reading the book...
"Be accountable for your feelings. A person isn't MAKING you feel sad, angry, or frustrated; you're ALLOWING yourself to feel these things. By taking responsibility for your actions and emotions, you'll give yourself the power to change the situation".
"When faced with a stalemate, evaluate whether the issue is more important to your beau, or to you. If it means more to him, give in. If you, don't back down."
"With problems, focus on solutions rather than the stuff that can't be changed."
Sound advice, and highly recommended!Shacking Up: The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned Overview

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